I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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