let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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