Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
