I heard we made out
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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