"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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