the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
