There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
