The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
