did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
