Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
