I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Alive.
So much puke
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
