Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
