Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
