Moan for me like Helen Keller
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
