dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
