I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
