Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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