It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
