I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
