just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Never underestimate the power of titties
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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