Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
