I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
