I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
