no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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