Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
