Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
