What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Randomize
