It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
