Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
