First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
