Rock
Scissors
Fuck
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
A+ Viking dick
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
