And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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