Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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