You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
