I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
