And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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