scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
