Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
