She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
