so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
