bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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