We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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