this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
