i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
