Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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