this boner is exhausting
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
