I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
