he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
