she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
