Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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