Having a random hookup so left but love u
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
